Helping strangers – but not your own

Alexas_Fotos / Pixabay

I have often wondered about the very nature of help and helping we do in our lives. I would like to think of myself as a helpful person. I created PakTherapy to further this cause and provide some help to people by shining light on a topic that is often shunned around the world. Even more so in places like Pakistan.

In order to do so, I often try and self-reflect, and see how I am doing.

I am not often satisfied with what I achieve. I go out of my way to help strangers, but not often when those are people I know. I have thought about this a lot, and come up with some bullet point thoughts and ideas:

  • Those people may have hurt me in the past, and I still harbour resentment against them.
  • With a stranger, a bit of help means you feel good about yourself and move on. With your own, it could be inviting a series of needs.
  • Strangers are often more grateful than people you know.
  • When people you know are grateful, it can often become a bit embarrassing in social setups.
  • Sometimes when you know people, you just don’t feel like helping them. You may not like them, or you may not have any warmth towards them.
  • It could be something to do with my own social issues or awkwardness.
  • Something to do with the need to look good to strangers and others, not just my own.

This is all logical, but it does make me wonder about the whole idea of ‘charity begins at home’. I mean, I do not actively spend a lot of money on people, but I do try and give them time.

So why do I shy away from helping my own? Why do I shy away from people I know who could do with some help?

Am I missing something here?

Am I a bad person?

Do you feel the same way?

I’d love to know your thoughts.


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